Many Changes & 2 "-FlyDesigns" Postcards

How busy life can get in such a short time! In the time since I posted last, we decided to move, found an apartment to move to in June, finished up tax returns for U.S. and Canada, prepared to show the apartment we live in now to prospective tenants, went to a family birthday party, and planned how we are going to take 7-1/2 rooms of "stuff" and put it into an apartment with 4-1/2 rooms! (By the way, here in Québec apartments are described that way, not by number of bedrooms. The "1/2" refers to the bathroom.

Before all this activity commenced, I was working on the idea of collaging my own postcards. The two shown here are for some mythical funky clothing company called "FlyDesigns," which is short for Butterfly Designs. (My apologies to any company, clothing or otherwise, who may use that name!)

One postcard is in the shape of a butterfly; an idea that came to me because I once received a postcard from a friend that was in the shape of her country. Of course, it helped that the background paper already had a butterfly on it!

-FlyDesigns Postcards...Just in time for Spring!

--Vicky :o)

FlyDesigns Postcards (I and II)
Paper Collage
Copyright © 2009 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

Another Postcard Collage

Here is another example of my postcard play. I call this one "World of Advice." You may have to look very closely to see that there is a map outline of the world that forms the basis of this collage.

I actually started the text for this post a few days ago but got hung up with describing the collage and its meaning. Ultimately, I find it more rewarding to let others see what the collage means to them. That's the great advantage of images and collages. In fact, a friend told me recently that every time she looks at my Christmas card collage, she sees something new!

One comment about the title--"World of Advice." Have you ever noticed how much advice there is in the world? And with the Internet, we have all that advice at our fingertips; we don't even have to go to the library to look through card catalogs, books, microfiche, etc. any more!

I wonder, though, how much all that advice keeps us from finding and listening to our own advice, our inner wisdom. Of course, taking time to listen and then to actually act on inner wisdom is a process and certainly not instantaneous. Not like the Internet, which provides instant gratification day or night.

But living life based on instant advice is not the same thing as living life in the NOW. Usually I look for advice when I have a problem that I want solved immediately. That process of looking for the answer takes away from the time of being with and experiencing the question, or what I think is the question.

In other words, seeking a World of Advice for that which I think I need or lack keeps me from Being the World that I am.

--Vicky :o)

"World of Advice" Postcard
Paper Collage
Copyright © 2009 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

Playing with Postcards

In the last few days, I have been thinking a lot about postcards so I decided to create some. Here is my first one. The title is "Playing with Color Postcard." Yes, for some reason I included the word postcard in the title. ;o)

Much of the time, a postcard depicts a place or point of interest or some souvenir of a person's travels. My postcard seems to depict a spiral of colors both in appearance and in the way I created it. This collage began its life from the middle. Starting with the figure, the snowflake house and the peacock swirls, I just kept adding different blocks of color and melanges of blocks of color as layers. The final touch was the postage stamp.

I find it interesting that while most postcards are rectangles, mine is almost perfectly square. I'll have to figure out why that is. (Does it reflect my need for perfection? Is there anything more perfect than a square? Well, maybe a circle!)

There is also one very illegible word--"fairytale." I didn't discover it, though, until the collage was done and I used my trusty magnifying glass to see what those black scratches actually said. :o)

Postcards provide a rather intriguing way to communicate since they force a person to write either the most important messages or the most mundane. Perhaps postcards were one of the earliest versions of Twitter, lacking only in the instantaneity (yes, that really is a word!) of this present-day communication gadget. Surely most postcards do answer Twitter's question: What are you doing? Or at the very least, they answer: What were you doing when you decided to write?

Now, what was I doing before I decided to write this post?

--Vicky :o)

"Playing with Color Postcard"
Paper Collage
Copyright © 2009 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

The Dying Mind--Take 2

When I chose "the dying mind" for the collage in my last post, I saw that there was at least one additional meaning when considered together as a simple sentence. The dying mind.

Now, the interpretation of that sentence all depends on one's definition of the verb "mind." Here are three definitions from which to choose (thanks to One Look Dictionary and Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary):

1. to be attentive or wary
2. to become concerned
3. to pay obedient heed or attention

Definition #2 was my choice of meaning. The dying care about their state. They are concerned that they are indeed "dying" and what that is going to mean to themselves and to the world at large. However, each definition brings a different shade of significance to the collage card.

The interpretation rests in the mind of the beholder/reader. Which definition describes and illuminates the collage for you?

--Vicky :o)

Job Title: Worrier

The other day I created this collage card trying to use some different materials (an autumn leaf, a maple seed, birch bark) and several disconnected images to see what would come of it. I am not sure it is a very uplifting collage but there is an interesting feel to it. ;o)

I scanned the card and filed it away, not really thinking much about it. Until today. I was reading a book in which this alien species had the assigned job title of "Worrier." As I read about the Worrier and how he/she/it(?) offered all the various reasons and possibilities to do or not to do a particular mission, I thought how well I could perform that job! I am so well versed in worrying that those few times when I was not worrying, I actually felt an empty space inside where the worries usually dwelt. That was an amazing and somewhat disconcerting feeling!

For some reason, as I was thinking about the job of Worrier, this collage card popped into my mind. Perhaps the message of worrying actually creates "the dying mind" pictured here--a mind that can't fully embrace creativity and inspiration when it is preoccupied with all the "what ifs" and all the possiblities of darkness, doom, and disaster. The card also points out that "dreams of day" and "dreams of night" all face the same end: they all pass. In fact, the same outcome holds true for "the dying mind": It too shall pass, along with all those worries that occupied so much of its time.

Now, if I can only embrace the ideas captured in this card; maybe I can finally give up the job of Worrier and find a job title I like much more!

--Vicky :o)

"All Pass"
(Inspired by Jennifer Black, Somerset Studio, March/April 2006)
Mixed Media Collage Card
Copyright © 2009 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

Skyla's Magic Box

For my granddaughter's 6th birthday in December, I collaged a special box for her. I call it Skyla's Magic Box. Inside are lots of different paper cutouts, stickers, ribbons, flowers, and various other items to be used for decorating cards, gift tags, and her very own little book. I also included a glue stick. She is now equipped to create and give cards with that special "Skyla" touch.

The box took a very long time to get to California (45 days!--another story for another time). She received it on Thursday and was very pleased with all she discovered in the box as well as with the card and poem I had made for her. I have posted pictures of her box.

I am reminded of when my kidlets were very small. I would buy them the latest and greatest toys for Christmas or their birthdays only to discover that often what gave them the most pleasure and entertained them the longest was the box in which they found the toy. There is no "toy" inside this box. What it does contain is special magic that needs Skyla's imagination, time, and creativity to be manifested in the world.

Happy Birthday, Skyla!

--Vicky :o)

"Skyla's Magic Box"
Collage Box

Copyright © 2008 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

Make your own kind of Magic!

"Magic is something we all secretly wait for, no matter how hard-bitten and cynical we become as the passing years vanquishes our spirit. We hope that somehow, something or someone will arrive and turn that magic wand and our life will flip over.

To create magic we need to do two things:

• Believe in magic.
  
• Be the magician of our life and bluff our way through life's inevitable difficulties.

We must know that the New Year is not a Genie that will bring us all that we have secretly been wishing for. We need to get inside that bottle and be that Genie ourselves." --Nazia Mallick

The above excerpt is from an article that I read recently on Ode Magazine's Readers Blog: "How to create magic in your life this year" by Nazia Mallick. In her article, Ms. Mallick continues with her own formula for creating magic in her life this year.

One of my favorite quotes corresponds quite well with Mallick's first bullet point:

"... for magic to happen in your life, you must believe in magic."
-- Grandmother, quoted by Lynn Andrews

If I don't believe that magic happens, then I certainly won't be seeing any.

As I continued thinking about the idea of making magic, I decided to look up the origin of the word itself. A very early definition (c. 1384) describes magic as the "art of influencing events and producing marvels" (Online Etymology Dictionary).

How well that definition corresponds with Mallick's second bullet. In order to make magic, I have to "be" the magician in my life--the one who influences events and produces marvels, the one who keeps on believing and being even when obstacles show up along the way. Here is what what Rob Brezny had to say about obstacles last week to those born under the sign of Leo:

"Obstacles are a natural part of life, just as boulders are a natural part of the course of a river," notes the ancient Chinese book The I Ching. "The river does not complain or get depressed because there are boulders in its path." I'd go so far to say -- this is not in the original text, but is my 21st-century addition -- that the river gets a sensual thrill as it glides its smooth current over the irregular shapes and hard skin of the rocks. It looks forward to the friction, exults in the intimate touch, loves the drama of the interaction. --Rob Brezny, Freewill Astrology

What a sexy way to look at obstacles! So now the choice is mine--how will I view the challenges that come my way? Will I continue to believe in magic and in my abilities as a magician? Obstacles are only obstacles if I declare them to be.

The collage above is from my Collage Journal and illustrates to me how I can make magic happen in my own life. The pictures and words are my magician's tool kit with its secret messages and magic spells. Now, it's time for me to add the "abracadabra" of believing and being.

--Vicky :o)

"Making Magic"
Collage Journal Page
Copyright © 2007 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

Too much noise in my head!

My goal this year is to "lighten my load." And, this morning I discovered another way I can make that happen: Stop unconditionally believing all the voices in my head.

Today, while I was checking my email, I found myself getting agitated. I was reading a newsletter by someone, considered to be an inspirational person by many, who was advocating a way to be more environmentally conscious. Something snapped inside! I found myself expressing disgust at being given yet another thing to put on my Life's "To Do" list.

Don't get me wrong. I certainly believe it is important to be environmentally conscious. However, I am weary of all the messages coming from emails, television, movies, governments, parents--living or long-dead--religions, friends, families, lovers, and the list goes on forever, AS WELL AS my own list of correct living prerequisites. How much of my life and energy do I spend being concerned over all this noise? WAY TOO MUCH!

I decided today that I can no longer put off determining what is and what is not important to me in my Life. I can no longer let others tell me how to live my Life. It's time for me to stop the Noise Madness. For as long as I listen to and unconditionally believe what others say, I cannot hear the "still, small voice" that resides within each of us.

In the last few months, I had started taking my name off inspirational newsletter email lists. I was being overwhelmed by inspiration! Now, I see that I am still too involved in all the wisdom everyone else seems to have. It's time to listen to the wisdom within. My Life, My Way. This collage from my Collage Journal illustrates clearly the message of this post. How interesting that I made the collage over 2 years ago.

--Vicky :o)

P.S.After I wrote this post, I discovered this short passage by Rumi, very appropriate to what I have written here:

"All my talk was madness,
filled with dos and don’ts.

For ages I knocked on a door—
when it opened I found

I was knocking from the inside!" --Rumi

"Start Within"
Collage Journal Page
Copyright © 20o6 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

"People see only what they are prepared to see."

I put this collage on the inside of a birthday card for a friend that celebrates her birthday tomorrow. Happy Birthday, Rola!

You will notice that on my previous posted collage and on this one, I used the same quotation. In fact, I used the quotation as the title of this post as well. This quote is by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

What I find most interesting is yesterday I received an email that illustrated this quote for me. The email came from someone I have known for several years but with whom I am not in frequent contact. She had known me somewhat intimately in the past but we have not spoken in person for at least 4 years, and we rarely exchange emails. In her email, she assumes that I am exactly the same as I was when she knew me--and that my reactions to situations could not change and certainly have not changed.

As I read her email, I realized that everyone tends to categorize people in their lives and, likewise, everyone tends to keep those people boxed in by those categories. And that's one possible interpretation of the Emerson quote. We can't possibly see changes in people if we are only prepared to see what we have always seen, if we wear the blinders of our categorizations and definitions.

I am grateful that I received this woman's email because it confirmed the importance of this quote. Since I used it both on my Vision Collage and the collage I posted here and then received this email that illumined the quote, I believe the Universe is sending me a message: In what areas are you (meaning me, of course) unprepared to see changes or unusual vistas or challenging thoughts and ideas?

That's the question that will on the "front burner" of my life as I go through 2009.

--Vicky :o)

Collage: "The Key to Change"

Copyright © 2009 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

New Year, New Vision!

For the last couple of years I have tried to write in a journal each day--Morning Pages as Julia Cameron calls them. Lately, I have been having trouble making my daily 3 pages. So I have been rethinking those pages and how I really want to use them. In the midst of this Morning Pages reinvention, I got the idea to make a collage to mark the shift from 2008 to 2009. This new collage is posted here.

Many people like to make vision boards as a way to direct their visions and fulfill their dreams for the new year. That's what this collage is all about for me. Two phrases I particularly love are these: "Don't be a spectator on this trip" and "There's no death worse than just waiting around." Both of these phrases come from Michael Green's The Illuminated Rumi 2008 calendar. The poem goes like this:

Don't be a spectator on this trip.
There's no death worse than waiting around.
Set your heart on the hero's gold.
And go. --Rumi

Last year I often found myself feeling like I was waiting. If I had to describe what it was I was waiting for, I would say it was Life or maybe it would be more accurate to say that I was waiting for something I thought needed to happen so I could live my life. I would often have thoughts like: "When this or that happens, then I'll do this or then I'll feel that way." I was experiencing "delayed living," which in Rumi's view is the worst type of death. And as the days of 2008 went by, I realized more and more that whether I spent those days waiting, spectating, or actually living them right NOW, time continued to pass and days disappeared!

In 2009 I want to hang up my spectator glasses, end the "waiting-around-death" experience, and GO for the "hero's gold" of living each day as full and as well as I possibly can. I am using this collage to inspire me to remember and live my vision.

--Vicky :o)

Vision Collage: 2009
Copyright © 2009 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

Yuletide Musings and a Wish for YOU!

May sweet sounds and tender moments fill the days of your Yuletide Season.

Merry Christmas!

--Vicky :o)

"Yuletide Musings" Collage
Copyright © 2008 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

Happy Winter 2008!

Since we have friends that have different beliefs, I created one card this year that could be used to celebrate Christmas and the Winter season. I offer the card and poem I wrote as a way to salute the 2008 Winter Solstice.

Winter's Tender Gaze

Winter, like Love, waits for us
At the end of every road;
Her gaze, full of tender warmth,
Despite the bitter cold.

Intruding on our busy days,
Dressed in lengthening shadows of night,
Winter paints each tiny crevice with darkness,
Increasing the brilliance of Light.

As the stars that sparkle best in shadow,
We shine brightest under Winter's gentle gaze,
We sow the seeds of Hope, Love, and Happiness
Through the gifts and tender thoughts that fill these days.

May Winter's ever-watchful eye
Gently guide you on your path this Year;
May your Holiday Season be blessed with Light,
Your Days overflowing with Peace and Good Cheer.

--Vicky :o)

"Winter's Tender Gaze" collage and poem
Copyright © 2008 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

Even the Squirrels Are Proud!

I saw a cute photo taken by Dave Weaver on Yahoo's Photo Highlight Slideshow. The photo showed a squirrel standing next to a mini American flag. The photo was taken on November 6 in Omaha, just two days after the historic election of Barack Obama as the 44th President of the United States.

As someone who has lived in another country (Canada) for the last seven years, I can identify with articles I read in which Americans who live in other countries said they were once again proud to say they were Americans after this election. Unfortunately, many of the policies that have been enacted during the last eight years have not resulted in Americans being warmly welcomed by other nations or their citizens. I have experienced some of that coldness and frustration even here in Canada.

The election of Barack Obama, the record numbers of voters, and the feeling that Hope has once again surfaced in America is a cause for joy not only in the United States but throughout the world. And, as Dave Weaver's photo illustrates, maybe even in the animal kingdom!

--Vicky :o)
P.S.The words on the photo were added by me.

"Patriotic Squirrel?"
© 2008 by AP Photo/Dave Weaver

October Ends: It's Raining (Reigning) Hope!

NOTE: Read on to discover the meaning of this picture for Michel and me.

However, as I post this picture, I realize that it might also represent what many Americans are feeling today after electing Barack Obama as our new president.

Many of us have felt that as a nation we were standing on a precipice overlooking an abyss that offered darkness and contained who knew what. And yet Hope offered us a way out if we could just stick together and exercise the rights and privileges we have to make a difference. And we did!

It was a "dark and stormy" October for me!

First, there was the multitude of "anniversaries" in October: my late father's birthday, October 9; the anniversary of my nona's death, October 12; the anniversary of my mother's death, October 16; and the wedding anniversary of my parents, October 24.

Then, there was the fact that we had to face October without our special friend Félicia.

Finally, I continued to be in a lost-and-alone space, reeling from a situation with a close friend that shook me to the core of who I am and what I believed. The pain of that occurrence, which started on July 20, hurt my heart so much that I still could cry when talking about it in October.

But then something happened. We went to visit Québec City, our annual pilgrimmage of sorts, a place we go every year since we met in 2000. And something changed. I can't tell you how it changed or exactly when. I do know that on the evening of October 19, I was extremely low--so low that I actually thought, as I turned down the sheets in the hotel, that the time had come to seek professional help.

The next day, I was still sad and negative and--okay, let's use the overused word--depressed. We had a wonderful day: the weather was beautiful, even though cold; we explored places we had never gone before; we had coffee in a café where they roasted their own coffee beans and where lots of interesting people came; we shopped for winter clothes; we ate dinner in a different part of the city and experienced an invigorating walk back to the hotel. (The picture posted here I took that day.) But as I look back there was nothing that stands out as phenomenal, as something that would have caused a shift.

But something had shifted. I realized it that night (October 20) when Michel and I were once again talking about my friend and the situation that happened during the summer. The pain in my heart just wasn't there any more. There were no more tears. There was no anger or frustration or blame or loss. We were just talking and it was all okay.

The next morning, although I was very aware that the pain was gone, I still did not realize the monumental change that happened. That change blossomed day by day and it continues even now. How do I know? The pain and tears have not returned. Sounds, sights, and feelings seem new and fresh. I have moments of pure happiness and peace. And each day, I find reasons to be grateful and more in love with Life.

As I express my thanks to the Universe/God/Source, the words "Thank You" just don't seem grand or glorious enough to contain all the gratitude I feel for being granted this shift in perception! This shift is a Gift of Grace.

Because of my own self-involvement, I didn't realize that Michel also was dealing with a dark and gloomy October! He captured his (our) experience in a picture that he created using Photoshop. We both contributed to the final result that is shown above. (By the way, the picture uses the French spelling of October. )

As a new month and a new page in the history of America and the world begins, I wish you a November that rains (reigns) hope!

--Vicky :o)

"Octobre 2008"
Photo collage
© 2008 by Michel Pettigrew; www.mpgraphique.com

Québec City Photo
© 2008 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

Dreaming Félicia

Félicia would often sleep with us at night. The process went something like this. First, she would jump on the bed and make her way toward my chest. She would climb aboard and position herself just so. Then, she would purr and really immerse herself in the caresses she would insist I give her. Eventually, she would get off--by her own choice or by my persuasion--and position herself at the foot of the bed next to my feet. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I would shift in my sleep and feel this "rock" (she weighed over 20 pounds) at the end of the bed. ;o)

The night we said goodbye to Félicia I had a difficult time sleeping. So the next morning after Michel left for work, I went back to bed and I dreamt of Félicia.

In the dream, I am in bed sleeping, believing that it is October 1 and Félicia is gone. Then, I feel Félicia down at my feet, very carefully creeping near my feet as usual. Her creeping has awakened me and I realize it really is Félicia! I am amazed and ecstatic. I sit up in the bed and start talking with her excitedly. "Félicia, you're here! You're alive! You're all right!" I reach toward her to pet her and at some point she has jumped off the bed and is lying on her back and I see her tail stretched out. I am trying to play with her and pet her at the same time. She is being playful and stays just a bit out of my reach. I keep saying, "Félicia, you're all right!" I know that Michel is coming home around noon that day and can hardly wait to show him that she's alive.

When Michel does arrive home, I try to tell him and show him that Félicia is alive and there with us. He can't see her, so he doesn't believe me! To help him see her, I put a large star that is on a yellow and orange ribbon around her neck. This ribbon necklace is too long for her. The star is quite large and looks like a star you would see on a general's uniform. The ribbon and star remind me of the Olympic medals given to athletes. In the dream, I am hoping that Michel will at least see the ribbon necklace move even if he can't see Félicia. The dream ends there.

I have a Native American friend who once told me that when a loved one's spirit/soul departs, it usually takes about a year before he/she adjusts in the journey to the other side. When you dream of that person, it means that he/she is settled and ready to help you. I find it amazing that Félicia has already come to me in a dream. And, of course, I believe she was only doing what I asked--letting me know she was all right.

As we walked home from the vet that night, Michel said he visualized Félicia standing next to Yoda and the other Jedis from the Star Wars movies, luminescent and ready to be of assistance. I have posted a photo that he created to portray our little Jedi Master.

--Vicky :o)

Félicia's Leaf

Félicia was an indoor cat all her life. In our previous apartment on the second-floor, she was able to go out on our balcony, but in this basement apartment, she was only able to see directly outside from the sun room. During Autumn, she would position herself on the large window sill and try to catch the falling leaves as they swirled and danced outside the window. On particularly windy days, she would go back and forth chasing the leaves--such a funny sight!

Félicia had stones that irritated her bladder. The pain she associated with peeing in the litter box would cause her to pee other places. One place she tried was the carpet in the sun room. We couldn't let her continue that behavior so we had to keep her out of that room. We were sad because we knew how much she loved looking at the birds, the squirrels, other cats that came by, and, of course, the leaves.

Imagine my surprise yesterday when I went into the sun room and saw this sight out of the window: a leaf suspended in mid-air as if by magic. Immediately, I went outside to take some pictures. I have posted one of them; I titled this photo "Félicia's Leaf." Ironically, when I tried to take a picture of the leaf from inside the sun room, the only place I could get a good shot was the sill where Félicia would usually lie to observe the world outside.

Michel came home early yesterday and was able to see the leaf and take some photos of it, too. A few hours later the leaf was gone. No trace of it remained. In the 3 years we have lived here, I have never seen a leaf suspended like that.

As Félicia was leaving her body, I asked her to let me know she was okay. The appearance of this leaf, the arrival of the parcel after I posted my last entry, and the presence of Félicia in a dream I had the morning of October 1, which I will recount on another day, all seemed to be her way of letting me know that she is just fine.

--Vicky :o)

Goodbye to a Special Friend!

Last night we said goodbye to our cat Félicia. To honor her, I have posted her picture. This picture shows her love affair with boxes, no matter what size! She always loved when we got parcels in the mail. She would watch patiently as we removed our "treasures," waiting until we gave her what was left. Then, it was her turn to explore in as many ways as she could think of. :o)

I will write more about her in a future post.

"Cats come and go without ever leaving." --Martha Curtis

--Vicky

P.S. Today, several hours after I had posted this entry, we received a parcel in the mail. Perhaps Félicia was sending me a message? I like to think so. :o)

On Saying Goodbye and Letting Go...

The poem posted here is one I wrote last month. This poem is just another step in a year long journey of examining and evaluating attachments--deciding which to keep and which to release.

Letting go is a difficult task, even when I know that it is the best course of action for my well being and spiritual growth. What might you need to let go of to create new vistas on your spiritual journey?

--Vicky :o)

How Do I say Goodbye?

How do I say goodbye?
When the time has come to leave,
When your path is no longer mine;
And I know now I must go
Or be forever deceived
By the brilliance that is you.
How do I say goodbye?

How do I say goodbye?
When I see that what you say
No longer agrees
With the Voice inside of me,
The One that guides my feet along this path
And knows exactly what I need.
How do I say goodbye?

Realize this:
I do not say—“You are wrong;”
That what you have is not the truth
Indeed it is The Truth for you.
But for me:
The way is clear and I must stand
In The Truth that governs my path, my Way,
And so I simply say . . .
Goodbye.

August 18, 2008
© 2008 Vicky Lynn Macchione

Whose boat is it anyway?

"The more you let other people tell you how to sail your boat, the less the boat belongs to you." --Vernon Howard

This quote came "sailing" through my email Inbox on a day I truly needed it. And I have used it consistently ever since to remind myself that this life I am living is mine. While I can ask for advice and learn from the experiences of others, I am the final authority, expert, captain of the HMS Vicky. :o)

In my life, I have always put people, whether friends or actual authority figures, in a place of authority--they know more, they have experienced more, they are already perfect, fixed, or somehow more.

Hmmm...I think I see a common thread there--the word more. ;o) The minute someone or something is more in my viewpoint, it means that I am less. And when I am less, I am always needy, searching for that special something or someone able to fill that need. Of course, the reality is there is no need to fill! As someone so aptly put it: "You are the One you are searching for."

After a lot of years of giving my boat away, I am taking back control. It's not easy. There have been some perceived benefits to my allowing others to tell me how to sail my boat:

• I don't have to think for myself or listen to my Higher Self.


• There is always someone or something else to blame when things don't work out. (This perception is obviously not true since it was me who gave the "helm" to someone else!)


• There is a measure of security in being in the same boat with someone else even if it's my boat and he/she is steering!

Ultimately, life is about responsibility. I can either accept that I am responsible for all my choices and decisions--even the ones I make by not making them, or I can go through my life blaming others because my life isn't working out the way I want. I have decided on the former perspective.

About the collage: I made this collage as the cover of a birthday card for the husband of one of my friends. Although I knew he loved the water and boats, I did not know that sailing was one of his most favorite activities.

--Vicky :o)

Birthday card collage
Created using scrapbooking accessories
and a shell from Santa Cruz, California
© 2008 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

Trust Your Gut

The other day when I posted, I was going to use the collage shown with this post. But for some reason--a gut feeling?--I didn't. ;o)

I thought about the collage today because my "gut" is bugging me. It started while I was chewing the last few bits of my organic pumpkin, flax seed cereal with organic soy milk. That last bite tasted like I had eaten cigarette and ash remains that can be found in an ashtray. Now, it's true I have never ever eaten cigarettes and ashes; but when I was young, I had to clean the ashtrays my parents used. For some reason, every time I did, I could taste the ashes. It was a sensation that filled my nose and my mouth! And that's what today reminded me of only the experience was reversed: I tasted the ashes more than smelled them.

I spent about 5 minutes spitting and spewing the remains out of my mouth, gargling, and rinsing my mouth out at least 10 times. At one point, I thought I might actually throw up. (My apologies to those of you with weak guts!) When I finished purging my mouth of the horrid tasting contents, I made note of the time in case I had been poisoned. I have this belief that if you are poisoned, it takes about 20 minutes for the symptoms to set in. (Perhaps the belief came from all the crime dramas I have watched and mysteries I have read!) In any case, I am fine other than my gut is still queasy, and if I think about it, I can still taste and smell those "cigarette remains."

So now the task before me is to determine what exactly is my gut trying to tell me with such a pronounced, multi-sensory experience. After all, in order to TRUST my gut, I have to KNOW what it is saying.

--Vicky :o)