NOTE: Read on to discover the meaning of this picture for Michel and me.
However, as I post this picture, I realize that it might also represent what many Americans are feeling today after electing Barack Obama as our new president.
Many of us have felt that as a nation we were standing on a precipice overlooking an abyss that offered darkness and contained who knew what. And yet Hope offered us a way out if we could just stick together and exercise the rights and privileges we have to make a difference. And we did!
It was a "dark and stormy" October for me!
First, there was the multitude of "anniversaries" in October: my late father's birthday, October 9; the anniversary of my nona's death, October 12; the anniversary of my mother's death, October 16; and the wedding anniversary of my parents, October 24.
Then, there was the fact that we had to face October without our special friend Félicia.
Finally, I continued to be in a lost-and-alone space, reeling from a situation with a close friend that shook me to the core of who I am and what I believed. The pain of that occurrence, which started on July 20, hurt my heart so much that I still could cry when talking about it in October.
But then something happened. We went to visit Québec City, our annual pilgrimmage of sorts, a place we go every year since we met in 2000. And something changed. I can't tell you how it changed or exactly when. I do know that on the evening of October 19, I was extremely low--so low that I actually thought, as I turned down the sheets in the hotel, that the time had come to seek professional help.
The next day, I was still sad and negative and--okay, let's use the overused word--depressed. We had a wonderful day: the weather was beautiful, even though cold; we explored places we had never gone before; we had coffee in a café where they roasted their own coffee beans and where lots of interesting people came; we shopped for winter clothes; we ate dinner in a different part of the city and experienced an invigorating walk back to the hotel. (The picture posted here I took that day.) But as I look back there was nothing that stands out as phenomenal, as something that would have caused a shift.
But something had shifted. I realized it that night (October 20) when Michel and I were once again talking about my friend and the situation that happened during the summer. The pain in my heart just wasn't there any more. There were no more tears. There was no anger or frustration or blame or loss. We were just talking and it was all okay.
The next morning, although I was very aware that the pain was gone, I still did not realize the monumental change that happened. That change blossomed day by day and it continues even now. How do I know? The pain and tears have not returned. Sounds, sights, and feelings seem new and fresh. I have moments of pure happiness and peace. And each day, I find reasons to be grateful and more in love with Life.
As I express my thanks to the Universe/God/Source, the words "Thank You" just don't seem grand or glorious enough to contain all the gratitude I feel for being granted this shift in perception! This shift is a Gift of Grace.
Because of my own self-involvement, I didn't realize that Michel also was dealing with a dark and gloomy October! He captured his (our) experience in a picture that he created using Photoshop. We both contributed to the final result that is shown above. (By the way, the picture uses the French spelling of October. )
As a new month and a new page in the history of America and the world begins, I wish you a November that rains (reigns) hope!
--Vicky :o)
"Octobre 2008"
Photo collage
© 2008 by Michel Pettigrew; www.mpgraphique.com
Québec City Photo
© 2008 by Vicky Lynn Macchione
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