On Saying Goodbye and Letting Go...

The poem posted here is one I wrote last month. This poem is just another step in a year long journey of examining and evaluating attachments--deciding which to keep and which to release.

Letting go is a difficult task, even when I know that it is the best course of action for my well being and spiritual growth. What might you need to let go of to create new vistas on your spiritual journey?

--Vicky :o)

How Do I say Goodbye?

How do I say goodbye?
When the time has come to leave,
When your path is no longer mine;
And I know now I must go
Or be forever deceived
By the brilliance that is you.
How do I say goodbye?

How do I say goodbye?
When I see that what you say
No longer agrees
With the Voice inside of me,
The One that guides my feet along this path
And knows exactly what I need.
How do I say goodbye?

Realize this:
I do not say—“You are wrong;”
That what you have is not the truth
Indeed it is The Truth for you.
But for me:
The way is clear and I must stand
In The Truth that governs my path, my Way,
And so I simply say . . .
Goodbye.

August 18, 2008
© 2008 Vicky Lynn Macchione

Whose boat is it anyway?

"The more you let other people tell you how to sail your boat, the less the boat belongs to you." --Vernon Howard

This quote came "sailing" through my email Inbox on a day I truly needed it. And I have used it consistently ever since to remind myself that this life I am living is mine. While I can ask for advice and learn from the experiences of others, I am the final authority, expert, captain of the HMS Vicky. :o)

In my life, I have always put people, whether friends or actual authority figures, in a place of authority--they know more, they have experienced more, they are already perfect, fixed, or somehow more.

Hmmm...I think I see a common thread there--the word more. ;o) The minute someone or something is more in my viewpoint, it means that I am less. And when I am less, I am always needy, searching for that special something or someone able to fill that need. Of course, the reality is there is no need to fill! As someone so aptly put it: "You are the One you are searching for."

After a lot of years of giving my boat away, I am taking back control. It's not easy. There have been some perceived benefits to my allowing others to tell me how to sail my boat:

• I don't have to think for myself or listen to my Higher Self.


• There is always someone or something else to blame when things don't work out. (This perception is obviously not true since it was me who gave the "helm" to someone else!)


• There is a measure of security in being in the same boat with someone else even if it's my boat and he/she is steering!

Ultimately, life is about responsibility. I can either accept that I am responsible for all my choices and decisions--even the ones I make by not making them, or I can go through my life blaming others because my life isn't working out the way I want. I have decided on the former perspective.

About the collage: I made this collage as the cover of a birthday card for the husband of one of my friends. Although I knew he loved the water and boats, I did not know that sailing was one of his most favorite activities.

--Vicky :o)

Birthday card collage
Created using scrapbooking accessories
and a shell from Santa Cruz, California
© 2008 by Vicky Lynn Macchione

Trust Your Gut

The other day when I posted, I was going to use the collage shown with this post. But for some reason--a gut feeling?--I didn't. ;o)

I thought about the collage today because my "gut" is bugging me. It started while I was chewing the last few bits of my organic pumpkin, flax seed cereal with organic soy milk. That last bite tasted like I had eaten cigarette and ash remains that can be found in an ashtray. Now, it's true I have never ever eaten cigarettes and ashes; but when I was young, I had to clean the ashtrays my parents used. For some reason, every time I did, I could taste the ashes. It was a sensation that filled my nose and my mouth! And that's what today reminded me of only the experience was reversed: I tasted the ashes more than smelled them.

I spent about 5 minutes spitting and spewing the remains out of my mouth, gargling, and rinsing my mouth out at least 10 times. At one point, I thought I might actually throw up. (My apologies to those of you with weak guts!) When I finished purging my mouth of the horrid tasting contents, I made note of the time in case I had been poisoned. I have this belief that if you are poisoned, it takes about 20 minutes for the symptoms to set in. (Perhaps the belief came from all the crime dramas I have watched and mysteries I have read!) In any case, I am fine other than my gut is still queasy, and if I think about it, I can still taste and smell those "cigarette remains."

So now the task before me is to determine what exactly is my gut trying to tell me with such a pronounced, multi-sensory experience. After all, in order to TRUST my gut, I have to KNOW what it is saying.

--Vicky :o)

The Summer of Difference

I have not posted much at all this summer. This summer has been a summer of difference: The weather has been unusual--more rain and less warm days. The status quo has shifted often--friendships drawing to a close. Letting go has been the theme. Every time I felt like I had found a place of consistency and regularity and security, some situation would arise that upset that complacent feeling and pointed to another belief, idea, opinion that needed to be released.

There has been no resting place this summer. Either I have had times of excitement because I knew that transformation was imminent or times of disillusionment, when things I believed came in conflict with those beliefs held by my circle of friends and it was necessary to say goodbye--at least for a season.

And now Autumn is just around the corner. Hope swells in me for this new season, the season of harvest. Will I be gathering the seeds of commencement? Will the Autumn sun with its unique warmth and light bring a glowing promise of new way of seeing, perceiving, and embracing Life? I await what unfolds.

--Vicky :o)

"I am through with everything but you." --Rumi

"Wisdom"
Collage Journal page card
© 2008 Vicky Lynn Macchione