Blue Heron Visions: Chapter 19: Perfecting Perfection (Part 2)

This manuscript is both a memoir of sorts and a work of fiction. The stories and events included are based on my life experiences and memories but I have changed names, details, event sequences, and outcomes throughout the work.

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Chapter 19: Perfecting Perfection (Part 2)

As Elizabeth considered Vincent's observation, she felt some part of her struggling to see herself as Vincent was able to see her. Only in her quietest moments could Elizabeth catch a glimpse of this perfect, magnificent being Vincent talked about. Of course, she could usually see others in that light, at least the people who had not offended her (if she was being honest). Elizabeth's constant stream of thinking stopped for an instant and hovered on that last thought. She realized that she put those who had "done her wrong" in the same category as herself when she tried to think of them as magnificent beings: they were flawed. She contemplated that realization for a few moments.

As she thought about the idea, she noticed that she judged others with a hierarchy of flawedness with herself as the ruler (double entendre intended). Some people were more flawed than she and others, less. That “flawedness” scale measured how far away the person was from “magnificent being” status. This train of thought brought Elizabeth to the awareness that she was basing magnificent being status on a person's actions not on who the person really was. Vincent had often said to her when she had made a mistake or behaved in a less than kind way: "Elizabeth, that's not who you are."

Elizabeth felt a growing stillness inside as if some important discovery was hovering at the edge of her consciousness. "Perhaps my equating what people do with who they are has clouded my understanding," Elizabeth thought. She had always been taught that people act and spoke from the heart, from who they were on the inside. But if people don't see themselves as who they really are—as magnificent beings—how can they act or speak from that knowledge? They are more apt to act and speak from their “flawedness” viewpoint, which is in itself flawed. What a vicious circle!

Elizabeth considered her constant need for others' approval. "What exactly am I seeking from others?" she wondered. She had noticed that many times when she received a compliment or a positive comment, which indicated the person's approval, she would question the person's sincerity. Her flawed viewpoint of herself resulted in her inability to accept another person's positive opinion.

Thinking back to the concept that actions came from a person's core, Elizabeth thought of cause and effect. What she had been taught was that essence created action, cause created effect. But what if you didn't know your magnificent being essence, you only knew your untrue thoughts about your essence? Your actions would not stem from your true essence but from your misguided thoughts about your essence. Since thoughts have to be thought, they are actions, too. "Who is thinking those untrue thoughts and why?" she queried to herself.

Elizabeth remembered that many years ago at the church she was attending at the time she had received a prophecy from a visiting minister. She couldn't remember the whole prophecy even though it was only a few sentences long. But she did remember the question that was asked: "Is it (the Christian life) about being or doing?" The question was relevant to life itself. If she applied the idea to the present line of thinking, she saw that one's essence—the magnificent being part, the God-spark part, the eternal part—was Being. Everything else would fall into the doing category, even the untruthful thoughts.

Elizabeth got a picture in her mind that illustrated the being versus doing concept. She imagined an immense blank canvas, beautiful, unmarked, and pure in its whiteness and light. Then, she saw herself painting her life on the canvas. Her thoughts made the background color of her life painting, completely covering the canvas, on which she drew and filled in the events and experiences of her life. But everything she thought or did never really affected the canvas; it was as if all the paints floated just above the expanse of white—even the background color she had added—never affecting the canvas's beauty and purity. The canvas simply provided a space on which the painting could happen.

Elizabeth thoughts drifted to her work with Photoshop and how she created pictures by using layers. The huge canvas was similar to a locked background layer, a layer that could not be altered or changed during the creation process. Elizabeth could imagine that her canvas was joined and connected to every other being's canvas, all united as All That Is. Once again, she thought of the scripture in Acts 17:28— "For in him (All That Is) we live and move and have our being; . . . ."

In her analogy, the canvas represented being and the actual process of painting represented doing. Thinking through the analogy had helped Elizabeth understand how her thoughts could obscure the truth that she and others were magnificent beings. These thoughts, then, governed and controlled the way she felt and acted. She could also comprehend how Vincent could say that her actions were not who she was. The final realization came as a result of the parallel she saw between the Photoshop locked background layer and the underlying canvas. Nothing she did, thought, or felt nor anything that anyone else did, thought, or felt about her could ever change the beauty, purity, and flawlessness of the magnificent being she was. The actions never actually integrated with her core; they were illusions layered upon the truth of Being.

What Elizabeth thought most enlightening about her realization was the fact that whether she received positive approval or negative criticism, neither could affect her magnificent being status. Approval and criticisms only affected that first layer, the one that she created with her thoughts. She clearly saw that her thoughts controlled her point of view and how she related to others and to Life itself. All her actions came from whether she believed, embraced, and operated from the truth of who she (and everyone else) really was—a magnificent being. This insight further revealed how Stacy's mirror principle was grace in action, always showing Elizabeth what she was believing and thinking at any given moment. So when Elizabeth was looking at her artwork or a piece of writing and picking it apart because of its lack of perfection, she was really picking herself apart, finding flaws that only existed in her misguided thoughts, revealing that she accepted her own created illusions as an accurate and truthful representation of who she really was.

Reflecting on her mental journey, she recognized that moments of insight like today's were pieces of magic in the puzzle of her life. And the similarity of the canvas analogy with her desire for magic to flow through her life was not lost on her. "Is All That Is synonymous with magic?" she wondered. Yet another question to add to her growing list as she continued her quest for a magical life.

Elizabeth turned her attention to the day ahead. She hoped she could hold onto today's new understanding the next time someone failed to give her the approval she felt she needed. (Of course, perhaps the first step she needed to take was to stop believing that she needed anyone's approval; well, except for her own!) Only the events and experiences of the coming days would reveal how this new awareness would influence her, but for now she opened the door to embrace the day that awaited her presence.