Blue Heron Visions: Chapter 24: Gratitude and Grace

This manuscript is both a memoir of sorts and a work of fiction. The stories and events included are based on my life experiences and memories but I have changed names, details, event sequences, and outcomes throughout the work.

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Link to Rumi poem, "The Guest House"

Chapter 24: Gratitude and Grace

As expected, winter had not lost its grip yet, and when Elizabeth had awakened, she could hear the wind gusting through the large pine tree outside her bedroom window. As she had peeked out of the curtains, she was greeted with an onslaught of white blowing every which way. She sighed deeply, weary of the length of the winter each year here in Vincent's country. The part of her country where she had lived never had such long winters. No, the daffodils were almost always blooming by the end of February along with some of the flowering plum trees. “Or were they cherry trees?” she wondered.

The cold blustery weather seemed to slow Elizabeth down in her morning rituals and it was noon before she had finished her breakfast, posting her mandala, and writing her morning pages. Since she had made a commitment to sit in silence for a few minutes each day, she still had that task to do.

Elizabeth went into the salon (the French word for living room, which she had adopted since living with Vincent) and settled into her favorite green chair. She and Vincent had bought this chair several years ago from Bombay Company when she had fallen in love with it. Since then, she always felt like it was the perfect place to sit and think or in this case sit and listen.

She settled herself into the chair and took a few deep breaths. Her mind, of course, decided that now was the perfect time to bring some thoughts about her life up for her review. She continued to breathe and allowed the thoughts to come, doing her best not to follow them or create stories from them. She did notice, though, that her thoughts kept returning to the morning and the negative feelings she had about winter. She felt as if some part of her being was nudging her to realize that she had a choice in her feelings about the season even if she could not control the weather itself.

Elizabeth reflected back on the choice she had made when she broke her ankle, the choice to look at what she had and could do instead of focusing on the difficulties a broken ankle presented. She knew what had freed her from her negative feelings at that time was her choice to express gratitude.

The year before, Elizabeth had done some research on the word gratitude in preparation for a workshop she gave to a ladies' group to which she belonged. The workshop took place on American Thanksgiving, which was not celebrated in Vincent's country. There was another woman in the group who was from the United States and who had requested that Elizabeth do her workshop centered on the theme of gratitude.

As Elizabeth formulated the plan for her workshop, she had focused on the two main parts of gratitude—the expression and the acceptance. She had investigated the words used for those two parts—“Thank you” and “You're welcome.” The personal discovery she had made was that on the spiritual path, a grateful attitude should encompass all situations and events that came one's way. Stacy wrote about the same idea in her astrology column when she instructed readers to say “Yes” to whatever came their way. In her workshop, Elizabeth had demonstrated that saying “Thank you” was the same as saying “You are welcome” to each event, person, situation that came one's way. She had used “The Guest House” poem by Rumi as an example of that welcoming and yes attitude, shown particularly by the last lines of the poem: “Be grateful for whoever comes, / because each has been sent / as a guide from beyond.”

Reflecting on her workshop revelations, she saw clearly that she had not chosen to look at winter from a gratitude viewpoint. Instead, she grumbled and trudged through the season as if she were walking in deep snow that had no end. Certainly, given what she had read and studied, there must be at least one lesson that could make itself known during the wintertime.

She sat quietly as she considered what welcoming winter into her heart and mind could bring to her and how she might be better served to allow what winter brought instead of resisting the season by complaining about the ice, cold, and snow for four months! She was reminded of a Guy Finley quote she had read during her research for the workshop:

“If we look at (unexpected) events as something placed in our way, a troublesome time we must pile through on our way to some imagined peace to come, then we literally throw away the possibility of discovering that each moment, regardless of its appearance, is divine in nature and can serve to help us remember the same...if only we so choose.”

This quote pointed to the fact that Elizabeth could choose to see winter and its events differently. At the very least, she could welcome the season by enjoying its magical aspects like the feeling of amazement she got every year when she saw the unique and perfectly formed snowflakes falling on her coat or the shimmering of moonlight on an untouched expanse of sparkling snow. She could embrace winter as the season of internal exploration to be used for rethinking, reviewing, reorganizing, and preparing for spring's renewal. And the winter season always brought with it another possibility of releasing herself from the fear of falling, which had gripped her even more after she had broken her ankle.

Elizabeth was amazed that she could find positive aspects of winter on which she could focus. Vincent would call what she was doing “seeing a different way.” Elizabeth always felt when she had a moment where she could see a new possibility or experienced a change of heart about a situation that she was experiencing the magic of Grace.

Elizabeth had been familiar with the concept of Grace since she was young. During her Catholic and born-again Christian days, she had been taught that Grace was God's unmerited favor. No one deserved it but God freely gave it because of His love for humanity. Several years ago, though, Elizabeth had found another definition that more fully described the condition for her. Eastern Christianity described Grace as the uncreated energies of God. In her mind's eye, Elizabeth pictured these energies flowing in and around and through all of life, creation, and the universe. At any moment, those uncreated energies could become created, resulting in a new way of thinking, a change in direction, or a new possibility in a relationship or situation. Grace existed in each moment offering an unlimited number of possibilities. Elizabeth believed she just had to be aware of Grace to see those uncreated energies transform into a creation.

Elizabeth had always felt that there was a connection between grace and gratitude. She knew that the two words shared a link in their etymology. But she also believed that gratitude opened the door to the uncreated energies of God/Source/the Universe, providing a way for them to come into existence. Gratitude gave a person new eyes to see the possibilities that Grace was always offering.

Thinking of Grace had reminded Elizabeth of a friend she had made during her coaching course. As part of the course, each person had to coach another student. That was how Elizabeth had gotten to know Sally, an amazing older woman who had a powerfully positive outlook on life as well as a magnificently generous heart. During their time of coaching, Elizabeth noticed that Sally never spoke of God but of Grace. That was the name she had assigned to God and Elizabeth thought that was a wonderful way to look at God/Source/All That Is. Once again, Elizabeth was reminded of the Bible verse “For in him we live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:28) Truly the verse could be rewritten “For in Grace we live and move and have our being.”

Reflecting on how that verse continually came to her consciousness, Elizabeth noticed that she had related it to God/Source/All That Is, to Life, to Grace, and to Magic. “Are all those words somehow synonymous?” Elizabeth wondered. Was the magic for which she was searching always and already present? Were the pieces of magic the times when she was actually aware of the underlying magic, when she actually was experiencing an alignment with the magic? “Yet more questions to contemplate,” Elizabeth thought.

Elizabeth brought her attention back to her sitting and listening. She was grateful for the new understanding that she had been brought into her mind about choosing gratitude when she thought about the winter season. She was grateful for the divine moment of Grace she had experienced and that she had been reminded of her friend Sally, who had died a few years before. Elizabeth felt that Sally had given her a gift when she had told her about Grace. She wondered if Sally had somehow been present today, reminding her about Grace.

Wanting to cement the experience in her memory, she decided to take a few moments to write about her discoveries in her journal. She found the special fountain pen Vincent had given her a couple years ago and the journal his uncle Maurice had given her several years ago. She reflected on her sitting time and described the revelations she had received during her sitting time. Now, she would be able to remind herself of how to think differently when next winter arrived!

The day had become late afternoon. Elizabeth noticed that the winter storm had blown itself out. The snow was fresh, piled up in drifts, inviting her to come outside and make her mark in its pristine freshness. She put on her many layers. Her new viewpoint brought an anticipation that she rarely had in winter, and she looked forward to the fresh crisp air that would soon fill her lungs and the exercise her muscles would experience as she walked through the snow. She opened her heart and her door to winter, thinking as she left the apartment, “Life is so amazing!”